The Wolf and the Phoenix
by Enchanted Whimsy
Summary: Remus Lupin reflects during a hospital vigil. RLOC


The Wolf and the Phoenix:

Love has always been my downfall. Everyone I have ever loved has either been killed or turned bad. And I know my lycanthropy has never helped my feelings on this subject. At this point in the second war all I hope for is to have peace of mind. Love – the kind that leads to "happily ever after" endings – is beyond all I could ever imagine. Then one girl came into my life and the little moments we have together have made my life worth living again.

She was Dumbledore's youngest surviving granddaughter back from dark arts training in California. The mousy little prankster from my seventh year defence class had returned as an Unspeakable for the Order with eyes that seemed aged beyond her years. I could never understand how she did it . . . she could battle Voldemort's vampires the one minute then laugh and joke with the Weasley twins the next.

I only know now in the aftermath as I sit here what sealed my fate with my little Phoenix and made me fall head over heels in love. I remember now that it was the night when I watched her stay behind to hold off a group of Dementors while I helped Tonks evacuate the injured muggles. She showed no fear as she cast off a Patronus of a golden phoenix and taunted Bellatrix Lestrange as she dodged curses. Hours later she came into headquarters and was cornered by our chosen one . . . Harry Potter.

"How did you face them without fear?" Harry asked her "You've lost and suffered more than I have." "I believe in this cause," she explained quietly "my faith is stronger than any evil . . . be it Dementor or dark wizard." "I'm not sure if I can win my final duel." Harry confessed and I watched from the shadows as she hugged the boy. "You won't be there alone" she promised and he flashed a rare smile at her before heading off to join Luna and the others.

Afterwards she came over and wrapped her arms around me. "Moony I don't want to be alone with my nightmares tonight" she said then smiled. "I need a dream like the ones I used to have about you." "What sort of dreams did you have about us?" I asked and she lightly touched her lips to mine. "All sorts of things . . ."

It wasn't long before the fighting got worse so her dream ideas became our simple luxuries. We spent on e afternoon in a park just dancing in the rain, another day it was shamelessly cheating at cards with Snape and Tonks. Her favourite pastime was watching bad muggle movies at the local cinema. There was the snowball fight one winter's day and the animagus form she changed to on the nights of the full moon. A snow-white wolf that would come and curl up with me in the dungeons so my potion free transformations became easier.

Once I asked her why she did all these things in the dark times and she smiled. "I was taught to live as though the world was as it should be." She said as she glanced up at me. "So I can enjoy the good things the world can offer and balance out the bad stuff." "Who taught you that?" I asked and she kissed me. "A Halfling that was once a teacher like you" She replied "He also taught me that love is worth fighting for as he always tried to defend his dream girl's honour." "So who is the man of your dreams?" I replied and she smiled "You . . ."

The final battle was brutal in its severity. It took both Snape and I to stop Wormtail and Malfoy Sr from killing Arthur Weasley. I looked over at one point to see my Phoenix was battling the Dark Lord to distract him from Harry. "Riddle the half rate squib," she taunted "you're nothing" The pair traded spells as Harry woke and managed to get to his feet. "You can't win" Voldemort boasted and my Phoenix almost hit her knees as he caught her with a vicious "Crucio" spell. "I'm just here to spoil your fun" she replied and dived to avoid the killing curse he cast at her as Harry attacked him from behind to destroy him once and for all.

Now I sit here in the hospital ward watching my Phoenix slip away and I'm losing another love to the dark side and death. It's been two days now but I have stayed by her side, avoiding the huge celebrations. I have nothing to celebrate if I don't have her so I've been dozing in exhausted slumber only to discover a pair of hazel eyes watching me. When I woke to the feel of her fingers gently stroking my hair. "I thought I'd lost you love." I confessed tearfully and she flashed a weary smile. "I had you to come back to" she said and kissed my tears away as I held her, "After all wolves mate for life."

Maybe Love is more than it's cracked up to be and it seems for the first time my dreams have come true. The world has hope again and I have a life with new challenges and great joys. The dark side will always be our companion but no longer is Love my downfall – it is my joy . . .


End file.
